And so it begins…
We decided to start our trip on Thursday 26th March 2026. Firstly, thinking we would set off nice and early, to beat the traffic and arrive in Liverpool, our first stop, in plenty of time to pick up our granddaughter, Penny, from school. As per usual, things didn’t go quite as planned. My energy is precious. I have been living with ME/CFS for 14 years now. I still haven’t got a handle on it & it still regularly plays havoc with my life and any plans I may have. It doesn’t stop me though. I won’t let it stop me completely, I just have to readjust, alter, rethink, be flexible…
Like anything I do, the planning starts weeks before. This was no different. Careful planning of what we might need, making sure things are washed & dried in plenty of time. Packing. Repacking & packing some more. Graeme did the running around, changing currency, dropping me off wherever I needed to be. I needed to fit in seeing my family. I’d arranged to meet my mam & dad on the Monday before we were due to leave ( We had tried to meet up the week before, but that couldn’t happen due to health), we then rearranged it to Tuesday and finally managed to see each other in Newcastle for a coffee on Wednesday. All 3 of us have health conditions that can be very unpredictable- so we just have to do what we can, when we can. At least we all understand the difficulties, so we can rearrange without the issues that come from cancelling plans with people who don’t know what it’s like living with a chronic illness. I thought I was having an ok day on Wednesday. I headed into Newcastle and had my hair cut,which is a rare treat, and had a bit of time to spare before meeting my parents. I nipped into M&S to get some chocolates to add to my son's birthday present, and very nearly walked straight into my biological father and his wife! That threw me. I recognised them instantly. I have no idea if they recognised me. If they did, they made no acknowledgment. I stuck out my chin and strided past them. One thing that definitely comes with being in your 50’s, is a complete intolerance for things that you no longer need. I haven’t needed my father for a very long time, and when I did need him, he wasn’t there anyway. So that’s the end of that. Full stop. I was, however, still shaken and a bit shocked at how old they looked. Not surprising really, as it’s 26 years since I saw them. They must be in their 80’s now.
I didn’t mention it to my parents. Instead we had a nice catch up over a cuppa. They are going to their holiday home in Spain when I am away, so it is likely to be a few months before I see them again. I had planned to get the bus to uncle Bills from town, to check in on him, but in all honesty, I was exhausted, so had to go straight home instead. I had been trying to go for tea out with my son all week - but that had been put off to Wednesday too. It’s his birthday at the weekend & I wanted to do something nice with him. We ended up at Sambucca by the Tyne Tunnel- the closest place to home there is. It was lovely to spend time with him and I was able to give him his birthday presents and Easter egg. I still always get the kids an egg, even though they are in their 30’s.
By the time I got home, I was knackered and in a fair bit of pain & my symptoms were flaring. It was worth it. Even though I know my busy day will have repercussions. Then I get a phonecall from my Bulgarian friend, who we are holidaying with, at a spa retreat in the mountains. She is in hospital, and has been there a week, after a virus, chest infection, and an allergic reaction to the antibiotics she was given. She looks dreadful, but is insistant she will be able to do the holiday. I doubt it & seriously don't think it's a good idea. Time will tell, I guess.
Thursday morning Graeme sorted breakfast, and did the household jobs needed before going away. It took me ages to pull myself around & get ready. I know I was being stroppy too. I even get on my own nerves sometimes. We then needed to see Uncle Bill, as I hadn’t gotten there the previous 2 days. He has Alzheimer's and Vascular dementia, as well as a great sense of humour- but hasn’t been himself for the last week, & after a load of phone calls on Monday to the memory clinic and district nurse, I had managed to get a home visit from a nurse practitioner on Wednesday, who had prescribed a course of antibiotics. It’s another worry I just didn’t need before going away. We have a great team of carers who look after him. We had originally gone with a care company, but in truth, they were dreadful. Some of the staff were lovely, some not so, all of them were managed by people who made it impossible for them to do their job properly. I had no choice but to find my own team, who would give Bill the care he deserves. I now have 5 lasses and a lad, who do just that. They are an absolute godsend. Managing his diary, and making sure they are all paid for the work they do, can sometimes feel like a full time job in itself, but they are worth their weight in gold.
We leave Bill munching chocolate biscuits & listening to the Rat Pack. We then set off for Liverpool- excited to see my daughter, Laura, her lad Tom & of course, our granddaughter Penny. The weather is good - sunny and bright. The journey is picturesque, with fields of baby lambs and spring flowers. We have the music loud and are enjoying the time together- we rarely get time that is “just us”. Even the erratic driving from HGV’s can’t dampen our spirits today. That is, until a wagon carrying a skip muscled its way in front of us from the fast lane, hit a pot hole and sent a flurry of mud, stones and god knows what else towards us. We both let out a shriek as a stone hit the car windscreen, chipping it. The air was blue from Graeme after that! Thankfully, it wasn’t as bad as it sounded, but the windscreen will need replacing before the next MOT. Another expense we could do without. We arrived in Liverpool and Penny was at after school club- so we gpt to pick her up after all. School security is tight these days, so Laura had to go with us. Penny had no idea we were coming and nearly burst with excitement when she saw us. It warms my heart. Living away is hard. I’d love to be able to help more. Laura & Tom both work full time. Having a young child, a dog, a mortgage and everything that comes with it, is bloody hard work. They do an amazing job, but I know it must be exhausting. Penny is as bright as a button, and a really good kid ( that isn’t just Grandma bias either), but like most 5 year olds- is demanding of attention. I wish we could lighten the load a little by being more present. Logistics don’t make it easy.
We have a great time with them, not doing anything in particular. Running around the house, playing hide & seek, then board games. If we thought Penny was thrilled to see us, it was matched by the howl of excitement from the dog Winnie, who promptly wee’d all over the floor & brought a steady stream of all of her toys to us, her entire body wiggling, not just her tail. We love to spend time with them all. They are as comfy as an old shoe, and make us smile until our faces ache. The following day, we take Penny to school, before walking the dog & picking up supplies. We have a trip to the park, taking turns to swap between kid & dog duties, before heading back for tea, while Laura has an a rare hour to herself. Graeme cooks a fabulous mezze for tea. Penny tried all ways to avoid going to bed, knowing that when she woke again, we would already be gone. Tom came back late, and pretty drunk, from a corporate event he had to attend.
Laura drove us into Liverpool, and we got a late train out to Manchester airport. Of course, we had completely forgotten that it was Friday night & the train was full of revellers, making their way home after a night out. There probably isn’t much on earth that is louder or more annoying than drunk people when you are sober. Once at the airport, we had a 2 and a half hour wait ( that turned into 3 hours) , before the security gate opened. Once through security, there's seats, bars, restaurants and shops, although not all of them open for early morning flights. Before you get through, there is literally nothing. A cold tiled floor, and a lot of people lying on it, waiting. It is literally a pain in the bum. My mind wanders to those with nowhere to sleep any night. The cold really seeps into your bones, and it takes a long time to thaw out again, and we were in a modern building, without the wind & rain, or worse. I can’t imagine how it must feel to have to sleep on the ground every night. It’s a sobering thought.
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